COFFEE WITH SATAN: THE DEVIL'S FAVORITE HOLIDAY

I caught up to our friend, Satan, before the holidays to elaborate on the devil's favorite holiday of all time, Thanksgiving.  We had skirted on the subject before, but this was a conversation I definitely wanted to elaborate on.  We met at the Starbucks in front of Costco's on Washington Blvd.

N: Why is "Thanksgiving" your favorite Holiday again?

S: We're talking about the biggest fucking banquet of the year - and who doesn't like that?

N: American Indians.

S: If you want to be a party pooper, sure.

N: So, did you invent "Thanksgiving"?

S: What do you think?

N: Okay, why did you invent "Thanksgiving"?

S: What is a Holiday, bro?

N: A day off?  A mini-vacation?

S: Sure, on the surface.  That is the exchange that I make with the public, generally.  In exchange for a day or some days off, I ask them to celebrate said day with whatever I wish.  If you offer lots of food - that is, a titanic meal that requires three stomachs  - they will celebrate what you give them.

N: And in the case of "Thanksgiving", what are we actually celebrating?

S: Okay, this is why this holiday is soooo awesome.  Let's say you allowed a group of homeless people into your house tonight.

N: Okay.

S: You feel bad for them.  So, you let them eat dinner with you and your family.

N: Hmmm...

S: Then, you go to sleep...

N: Yes...

S: Then, they fucking rape your wife, choke your mother, kill your father, molest your kids, rip your dog... and make you watch... and then, they kick out of your house...

N: Okay.

S: But, it's not over yet.  Every year, no matter where you live, where you go, you know these people who are in your house are celebrating that lovely day - and not only that - every house in the country is celebrating that day.  The day you expressed generosity and they raped your family is a national holiday.  Voila!

N: You're reffering to the Pilgrims.

S: Money, there weren't Pilgrims at the time.  They weren't buckles or black hats then.  That shit we put in later.  You have to hand it to me.

N: Okay, let me play devil's advocate here.  Isn't there a history of giving thanks that goes back hundreds of years...

S: Sure.  And this is why I'm a genius and J.C. let's me run things down here.  This is the only holiday where the people that were "raped" are at the butt of the joke.  Families have the most amazing meal of the year, celebrate their togetherness when the history of this violent act demolished millions of families... and in fact, a whole nation - and that is why it would be like Adolph Hitler dancing on concentration camps.

N: Why did you need a holiday celebrating the destruction of the American Indian.  I mean, I know you're evil, but what is the purpose behind it?

S: The function - and there are many parts to this - is for the US to continue its practice guilt-free.  At the back of people's mind, if coming to this country and taking it from some backward people can be a holiday, then why not keep doing it?  People, by eating, drinking and celebrating with loved ones, are unconsciously telling themselves it's okay.

N: You mean, colonization?  We still do it?

S: Sure, in your modern history... Puerto Rico, Israel, Hawaii, The Virgin Ilsands and under the guise of Democracy, Iraq, Pakistan for sure... really, the Middle East is a place you guys would like to have.

N: And Thanksgiving is an outlet for that?

S: Yes, the biggest banquet of the year - an awesome meal that features every food group, drink, companionship, friendship and family members you never heard of - is the door to more colonization.   You know, as an American, you probably rarely stop and think what others may think of what you're doing - and if I'm doing my job, you never will.  Nobody wants to read what I'm saying.  It's just going to ruin their appetite, which is awesome and just the way I designed things.

N: So, to sum this up "Thanksgiving" is the public support of the practice of colonization?

S: Sure, but to your credit, my team knew we needed an awesome meal to do this.  This meal had to be killer.  And for that, we need the biggest, fattest fucking bird imaginable.  I wanted giraffe, but my team  convinced me otherwise.  And they were right.

N: How would giraffes fit on a dinner table?

S: I thought the beast could be cut into pieces and I had this whole thing about how a whole neighborhood could chase it and slaughter it together... anyway, it was, they were right, I went too far with that.  I'm saving that for another thing.

N: Oh.

S: And so, the wild turkey was the chosen fatass, despite Benjamin Franklin's insistence.  You know, Benny wanted wild turkeys on the American Flag at one point?

N: Did he really?

S: I don't know.  Who cares?

N: Alright, great, well, I suppose you're going to eat well tomorrow.

S: Fuck yea.  I'm eating all that shit.  Turkey, mashed potatoes, pie, I want thousands of calories in me and every fucking American in this country.  Happy Thanksgiving!  And oh,  don't miss Black Friday. You'll need the exercise.

33 STRATEGIES OF SPORTS: THE COUNTER ATTACK STRATEGY

Watching someone small beat someone big is one of the most thrilling elements of a sports competition. Nate Robinson and Doug Flutie’s popularities can be attributed to their tininess. They’re very charismatic people — but like actors, we project ourselves onto athletes, as they remind us that small doesn’t mean weak.

But even being weak is a powerful tool. You have used this strategy yourself when you were child, pretending to be sick to avoid going to school. We live in a passive aggressive world. In fact, in war, feigning weakness is the most popular strategy. Why? Because it has worked for thousands of years.

Welcome back to “The 33 Strategies of Sports”, a concoction of Robert Greene’s wonderful pamphlet, “The 33 Strategies of War” and sports history.   This time:

THE COUNTER ATTACK STRATEGY

In 1990, a new young tennis star had emerged in the world of tennis. His name was Andre Agassi. Agassi had reached his first Grand Slam Finals, the 1990 French Open against a washed up Andres Gomez. Agassi was heavily favored — it was his time. But Gomez upset the young man. The French clay courts slowed down young Agassi’s aggressive attacks. Oh well, Agassi would have many more opportunities to conquer France. His fashion sense and unorthodox style was a Nielsen Rating wet dream. The guy made tennis cool again. He was a star and even married Brooke Shields of “The Blue Lagoon”. Ultimately, he managed to win every Grand Slam except for the French Open (only four other players in history won all four Grand Slams). But injuries and a Hollywood lifestyle wrecked him.

By 1997, Agassi divorced Brooke Shields and got hooked on Crystal Meth — his ranking fell to #141. He would soon turn 30, senior citizen status for a sport dominated by teenagers. He failed to win a Grand Slam in years (usually losing in the first round). He was done. He would later say, “decisions, especially bad ones, create their own kind of momentum, and momentum can be a real bitch to stop, as every athlete knows. Even when we vow to change, even when we sorrow and atone for our mistakes, the momentum of our past keeps carrying us down the wrong road. Momentum rules the world”.

In 1998, Agassi played in the minor leagues of tennis for a while — the “Challenger” tournaments – and slowly rose in ranks. After that humiliation, he returned to the scene of his career’s biggest disappointment, the French Open. He was not expected to make a dent, but his name was still enough of a draw. Barely. Pete Sampras, now the face of tennis, was at his peak — he was expected to win his first French Open. But Sampras unexpectedly lost in the second round to Andriy Medvedev, a 24-year-old Ukrainian with a bullet serve.

Meanwhile, Agassi was having trouble of his own against 21-year-old Arnaud Clement. Agassi was down two sets to love (in tennis parlance, this means “near death”). But Agassi managed to put together an amazing come back and advance. Afterwards, he managed to dominate every match all the way to the finals — where he would face Medvedev, the guy who thrashed Sampras. What a great comeback story this would be for Agassi, a guy who ranked 141 only a year ago.

The only thing was, Medvedev was ranked even lower than Agassi. In fact, the Ukrainian was the lowest ranking player to ever reach the French Open. No one expected him here. Medvedev saw this match as redemption too. He was hungry, young and had a serve you could barely see on a TV screen. Two sets into the French Open Finals, Medvedev proved how much hungrier. He executed a bloodbath on Agassi, beating his older and smaller opponent, 6-1, 6-2. One more and it was death.
Agassi was, as he would say later, “embarrassed”. He fought with everything he had to tie the next set, 4-4. But did the 29-year-old have enough left to recover from another two sets to love? In such a tie, the winner statistically won the next match, making this tiebreaker crucial. Agassi would go up, 30-15… then, the bottom fell. He missed his next serve. And his next. Double fault. 30-30. Agassi missed his next. And next one. 30-40. Agassi missed another serve. “I’ve now missed five straight serves,” Agassi explained, “I’m falling apart…”

“… Medvedev knows my psyche is in tatters after missing five serves in a row. He’s guessing that I won’t have the stomach to be aggressive. He expects a nice soft kick-serve. He steps up, well inside the baseline, sending me a message that he anticipates a softie, and he’s going to ram it down my throat. He wears a look on his face that unmistakably says: Go ahead, bitch. Be aggressive. I dare you. This moment is the crucial test for both of us. This is the turning point in the match, perhaps in both of our lives. It’s a test of wills, of heart, of manhood. I toss the ball into the air and refuse to back down. Contrary to Medvedev’s expectations, I serve hard and aggressive to his backhand. I go on to hold serve”.

Agassi would win the set and the next two, orchestrating the most formidable comeback in French Open history, becoming only one of five tennis players to win all four Grand Slams. 1999 proved to be only the beginning of Agassi’s resurgence. He would also win the US Open and by the end of the year, rank #1, jumping 140 ranks in a single year.

INTERPRETATION

Andre Agassi is considered the best serve returner in the history of the game. He once returned a 138 mph serve. But why exhaust himself against such an aggressive opponent like Medvedev? He gains two things by retreating. 1) Medvedev thinks he has an easy victory. 2) Agassi breaks down Medvedev’s strategy in his mind for later use. By the fourth set, Medvedev is too tired and shocked that he’s still playing. At this point, Agassi counters every serve, cracking Medvedev’s confidence. By the fifth set, Medvedev concedes and Agassi defeats him. In short, Agassi uses Medvedev’s energy against him, Jiu-jitsu style.

KEYS TO ENGAGEMENT

There’s a saying in sports. Defense wins championships. There are two reasons for this. It takes less energy to defend something than to chase it. Unlike tennis, reality is not concentrated to a couple hours. Time is on your side. You too can play “defense” in real life by developing one skill. PATIENCE. If you can develop the nerve for the “wait and see” approach, you will see opportunities open up in epic proportions. You may not even have to do anything as your opponent shoots themselves in the foot.
The next time you have an argument with someone, try this. Don’t scream. Don’t shout. Hold the anger inside you. And LISTEN to as much as they want to say. No matter how insulting. When they’re done, counter argue. You may even find that counter argument may be unnecessary and the situation not as serious as you originally thought.

The first half of Agassi’s career was a disappointment because he was too aggressive. He won Grand Slams but certainly could have won more, had he not tried to kill the ball with his racquet. It was not until he hired trainer Brad Gilbert that his style changed. Gilbert explained to him:  “You try to hit a winner on every ball, when just being steady, consistent, meat and potatoes, would be enough to win ninety percent of the time. Quit going for the knockout. All you have to be is solid. Singles, doubles, move the chains forward. Stop thinking about yourself, and your own game, and remember that the guy on the other side of the net has weaknesses. Attack his weaknesses. You don’t have to be the best in the world every time you go out there. You just have to be better than one guy. Instead of YOU succeeding, make HIM fail. Better yet, LET him fail”.

Agassi, like all great sports minds such as Bill Bellichick, Michael Jordan and Phil Jackson, made an entire career out of “letting” his opponents fail. He was frequently down two sets, facing death. His opponents always took the bait, thinking victory was in the bag. Only to watch Agassi counter every move — moves that had worked the entire match until now. Agassi rode this strategy as far as he could, ranking in the top 20 for the rest of his career, which ended at the ripe old age of 36.

REVERSAL

You cannot always apply “counter strategy”. In 2005, a 35-year-old Agassi faced Roger Federer in the US Open Finals. Federer took the first set and watched as Agassi took the second, and then the lead in the third. Agassi did not have much left in him and would have been better served to start stronger earlier. Federer did not take the bait and won the remainder of the sets. Sometimes, especially when time isn’t on your side, it’s better to start aggressive.

33 STRATEGIES OF SPORTS: THE DEATH GROUND STRATEGY

“No one gives a fuck about me.”

- Mike Tyson

A sporting event has a limited amount of time. A basketball game has 48 minutes. A football game, 60 minutes. A boxing match, 12 rounds at 3 minutes a piece. Your life? You don’t know. So, you have no sense or urgency — and great athletes have a sense of urgency. The best ones give 100% at all times, a trait we deeply admire. A trait we have access to but normally don’t tap into unless we experience a life or death experience - or given 6 months to live. Because people with limited time spend it very wisely. But the truth is, we all have limited time.


Since our life is not broken down into four quarters, we easily lose track of that reality and literally buy the fantasy that we will live forever. Today’s world teaches us that our time is limitless. We will eventually get to that project that has meaning for us. In the meantime, we’ll watch TV, surf the internet, smoke some weed. Why not? You will be young forever. The people on TV tell you so. Look at the actors. Look at the commercials. That’s you. Endless vistas of time.

So stick with the job you hate, the bad relationship you’re in, your avoidance of any type of confrontation. Because you will probably never die — or will you?  Welcome back to another lesson from Robert Greene's "The 33 Strategies of War".

“I’ll fight any man, any animal, if Jesus were here I’d fight him  too.”  
Mike Tyson

THE NO RETURN TACTIC

As a child, Michael Gerard Tyson was frequently ridiculed because of his funny, high-pitched voice (he sounded like Yoda with a lisp). His father left his family when he was two. In the crime infested community of Brownsville, New York, Tyson developed a love of pigeons, the only creature he could relate to. One day, a very large kid ripped the head off his favorite pigeon. Tyson fought for the first time — and then fought everyone else in the neighborhood. By the time he was 13, Tyson was arrested 38 times. By the time he was 16, his mother was dead.

This was a world where death awaited you right around the corner. When Tyson was sent to reform school, Tryon School for Boys in Johnstown, New York, it was assumed this boy would be dead by 21 — and for young Tyson, it certainly was his fate, like he was on borrowed time. But the juvenile detention counselor, Bobby Stewart (a former boxer), noticed that the kid with the funny voice could fight. This led to Tyson’s first boxing manager Cus D’Amato, who had trained World Champion Floyd Patterson. D’Amato saw beyond the cartoonish voice and tiny build. Tyson was only 5"10, his reach 71" and he was barely above 200 lbs. But there was something ferocious about this kid. His right hook was like a battering ram. His fists were vengeful like he was fighting death itself. But there was another problem. Tyson had problems breathing. He would get exhausted too quickly. But D’Amato was not getting any younger himself. He was an old man. Finding a fighter with this punching power was unheard of. But could the kid last 8 rounds in a heavyweight fight?

They would find out on March 6, 1985, when Tyson made his professional debut in Albany, New York against Hector Mercedes. No one knew much about Tyson. Hector fought the 18 year old like he would any fighter. Until he absorbed the first hit and hugged the young man almost immediately. The problem was, because Tyson was shorter, his short arms would allow him to continue to beating his opponent even while being hugged. Tyson never stopped punching. And hardly a minute passed when Hector went down. Hector had never been beaten like that before. Like baseball bats were swung at his face and body. He just wanted the match to end.



This only confirmed what D’Amato suspected. With that right hook, Tyson wouldn’t need 8, 12 or 13 rounds. Tyson’s punches were so traumatic, his opponents would go into shock upon first contact. And he was right. Tyson won 26 of his first 28 matches by KO or TKO, dismantling opponents faster than you can take out the trash. But did the man-boy have enough to be a champion?

Cus D’Amato would die before finding out. On November 22, 1986, Tyson faced WBC Heavyweight Champion Trevor Berbick, the man who retired the great Muhammad Ali. Berbick was 6 ft. 2 1/2 and has 78" reach, 7 inches longer than Tyson. This would be the first time Tyson would fight an opponent in a higher league. Berbick was bigger and vowed to keep Tyson in the middle of the ring and push Tyson back (Tyson already had a reputation of pushing his opponents against the ropes, throwing them off balance, then knocking out him out savagely). Berbick was certain his uppercuts would keep Tyson back and when the match began, he kept his word… for about 90 seconds. He was knocked down in the second round. Three times.

D’Amato was right. He had posthumously trained the youngest heavyweight champion in boxing history. 20 years and 4 months old. He could not even buy a beer, but he could take down some of the world’s most feared men flat on their face within seconds.

Now facing quality opponents, Tyson could not knock out opponents with as much ease, but his camp discovered a new weapon. Intimidation. Tyson would use this new tactic to beat James Smith by unanimous decision on March 7, 1987 in Las Vegas and Pinklon Thomas that May with a knockout in the 6th round, becoming the first heavyweight to own all three belts — WBA, WBC, and IBF.
But now, Tyson would suddenly face his greatest challenge on June 27, 1988. Michael Spinks, the man who dueled the legendary Larry Holmes for 15 rounds in 1985, handing him his first defeat (Holmes was one victory away from tying Rocky Marciano’s record of 49-0). Spinks was the first Light Heavyweight ever to win a Heavyweight Title. To prove his toughness, Spinks fought a rematch with Holmes and once again beat defeated him a year later.

Spinks was seasoned, smart, quick and could make Tyson fight 15 Rounds. He could force Tyson into exhausting himself chasing Spinks around the ring, and then attack when Tyson got tired — like Ali did with Foreman in Africa. Spinks was 31-0, 21 by knockout and had never been knocked down in 131 fights (100 as an amateur). He could take Iron Mike Tyson.

There was tremendous hype.  Pay-Per-View was charging $49.95 a pop. It was like a holiday. People gathered together with family and friends they had not seen. Tyson would finally meet a challenger who could match his speed and wits, and who had the experience to tune out his intimidation tactics. The entire world was watching. This would be a titanic battle of styles (and the richest fight in boxing history at the time).

The fight lasted 91 seconds. The KO would be the only time Spinks had experienced such humiliation (and would be his last). But it was not Tyson’s punches that took him down — it appeared like Tyson could not even connect against Spinks’ jaw or side of his head. Spinks looked like he shit his shorts before the bell even rang. He was running away from Tyson most of the times. But Tyson ran faster. Although his punches failed to completely connect against Spinks’ head, the grazing was enough for Spinks to realize he was profoundly in over his head — and he went down at his own will. Twice. Intact physically. But broken mentally.

Mike Tyson had beaten Michael Spinks without even really hitting him. He did it with psychology. Now, you had to get by Tyson’s blitzkrieg of terror before even dealing with his devastating right hook. All from an undersized fighter with a funny voice who could not breath correctly — and who was pronounced dead by adulthood.

“Everyone has a plan ’till they get punched in the mouth”
- Mike Tyson

INTERPRETATION

Spinks and Berbick figured they had 13 Rounds to beat Mike Tyson. After all, they were champions - they had beaten Ali and Holmes. If they lost one round, or even two, they could recover the next one. And if not that one, the next. Eventually, they could wear their opponent down and defeat him — they had 13 rounds to do it. Tyson did not have this luxury. He could not breath correctly and had to figure out a way to take his opponents’ heads off now. He could not see past round 5. Or even round 1.

We frequently see this desperation in sports. A team falls behind and is down 15 points, then fights like hell to even the score at the end. The question is, they always had the ability to fight like hell, why did they wait until they were behind? We usually do this, thinking we have all the time in the world. But then we are too far behind and it is too late to succeed.

Mike Tyson never waited. His plan was to take down his opponent as soon as the bell rang. Period. This was the only way he could become the champion he was. Necessity. The mother of all invention.

Here Tyson teaches us a valuable lesson. We have plenty of safety nets in our lives. A comfortable job we don’t necessarily like. A stale relationship that is good enough for now. A parent that bails us out every time we need it. These safety nets are unhealthy — precisely what’s keeping you from getting what you want. Time can be your friend or your enemy.

As Spinks and Berbick learned, 13 rounds is not a promise to everyone. You are running out of time as you read this sentence.  And before you know it, you too will face a devastating knock out. Hopefully, when you get back on your feet, you will live to face another battle and not wait so long to attack. It’s your choice, you can be beaten by Mike Tyson, or you can be Mike Tyson — fight with Tyson’s desperation and you will become someone to be reckoned with, as opposed to someone burns time like it’s garbage. Just like you wouldn’t take all the money you have and throw it in a fire, you should not do the same thing with time. And time, as the saying goes, is money.   But in reality, time is more than money.  Money can always be made. Time can never be retrieved.

“God lets everything happen for a reason. It’s all a learning process, and you have to go from one level to another.”
- Mike Tyson

KEYS TO ENGAGEMENT

Think about this. Every time you made for a drastic change in your life, it was because an event that forced your hand.  The change was mental.  And you always have this power to enlarge yourself. You don’t have to wait until it’s necessary. Athletes, the ones we admire anyway, can trigger this emotion any time they need to.



Mike Tyson was small, had a short reach, but fought with a desperate edge no one wanted to face. He had to succeed as a boxer or face life in the streets. Every punch was thrown like his last. Every hit had a sense of finality, like a hammer that drives a nail into the wall with one strike. All over history, there is an example of a genius with a shortcoming — Beethoven was deaf. Bruce Lee had a leg that was shorter than other.  Stephen Hawking is in a wheelchair and can’t move a muscle in his body. He was told he would be dead 30 years ago.

These guys understood that death is right around the corner.  You can go at any time for millions of reasons. And when you do, are you going to regret what you never even tried or did half-assed?

Sun Tzu, the author of “The Art of War” spoke of a death-ground, positioning armies against a trapped area and forcing them to get out alive. Sun Tzu understood that people didn’t change unless they had to. These armies would fight with a desperate edge and will themselves to victory, thereby proving that human beings had that “edge” inside them, waiting to be unlocked.

You tossed your “desperate edge” in a safe years ago, saving it in case you may one day need it. But suddenly, you forgot the combination. The following five tactics may be one of the combinations you’re looking for. If you can unlock that “edge”, you will gain the psychological power that Mike Tyson once had and conquer the festering projects in your life.

1) Stake everything on a single throw. You have too many projects in your life. Your mind is pulled eight different directions. As Mike Tyson demonstrated, you don’t really have 13 rounds. Place all your energy on one project and go for that knock out punch out now. And watch your project flourish.

2) Act before you are ready. Mike Tyson was frequently seen advancing towards his opponent before the bell rang. Without a deadline or outside pressure, you become lazy and shiftless in your project. You over think everything and take way too much time before you even begin. If you move before being totally prepared, you will live on your instincts and use your resources more wisely — and breathe life into your project.

3) Enter uncharted waters. Tyson lost his pigeon, his mom and his manager. The loss of these relationships forced him to become “the baddest man alive”. Abandon the relationships that hold you back, a stale relationship, a comfortable job, etc. You want strength and evolution, not weakness.  Drop what does not contribute to your evolution.

4) Make it you against the world. Even at the decline of his career, Tyson continued to insult his opponents before he even got into the ring. He famously promised to eat Lennox Lewis’ heart and feed it to his children. His tactic was simple. He wanted to infuriate his enemy. This would guarantee he would give everything in the ring. You have done everything half-assed for too long. If you insult those who stand in your way, you will be against a wall — and you will fight like hell to get out.

5) Keep yourself restless and unsatisfied. Most people are like the walking dead, avoiding personal challenges and confrontations, living a comfortable life that seems eternal. They do not challenge themselves. They grow bored with life and refuse risk at all cost. Millions of these people lived through Iron Mike Tyson. Mike’s punches waited for no one. They didn’t waste time. They confronted their opponents mentally before the fight and physically when the bell rang. The most feared fighters were petrified of facing the man with the funny voice. Tyson brought death-ground psychologically and physically into millions of homes. His fan based grew into millions because they secretly wished they could apply this power into their own lives — living through Tyson. Adrenaline comes with risk. Malaise comes with safety. Risk is what makes life exciting. You cannot appreciate your life unless you risk it on some level. If you dodge death, even better, you will appreciate the time you have even more.

REVERSAL

Robert Greene says: “if the feeling of having nothing to lose can propel you forward, you must avoid others in this position”. When Mike Tyson became wealthy and powerful, he faced an opponent named James Buster Douglas, a 42-1 underdog journeyman. Douglas’ mother died 23 days before the fight, likely the biggest of Douglas’ career. Douglas was supposed to be lion food for Tyson. But Douglas had nothing to lose and put everything into the ring. He fought an inspired and desperate match, knocking out Tyson in the 10th round. Avoid facing a desperate person with nothing to lose at all cost.

“Fear is your best friend or your worst enemy. It’s like fire. If you can control it, it can cook for you; it can heat your house. If you can’t control it, it will burn everything around you and destroy you. If you can control your fear, it makes you more alert, like a deer coming across the lawn.” 
– Mike Tyson

NOTES ON ROBERT GREENE'S "MASTERY": PART THREE

To paraphrase Bruce Willis in Shane Black's "The Last Boyscout":  nobody likes you, everybody hates you, you're going to lose.  That is human experience, in a nutshell.  YOU'RE GOING TO FAIL.  YOU'RE GOING TO BE STEPPED ON.   Can you take this wretchedness and recycle it into power.  In "Mastery", Robert Greene insists YES, you absolutely can, and "The Master" uses historical and contemporary examples of how the best representations of who we are - Mozart, Edison, Einstein - have done precisely this.  Transformed their own personal ass kicking into mastery of themselves.  It's not genes.  It's not something you're born with.  It's your will, your mind and your very existence that can take you to the promised land of your own genius.  That is "Mastery".

Greene's taut grasp of history is not the only reason why he is the perfect authority.  He lived it.  The man once fancied himself a screenwriter, venturing into the passive aggressive forest of back stabbing and cruelty called Hollywood.  The experience was discouraging.  People were more concerned with their egos and making money than telling a good story - and once you were in there, you started thinking like them.  Instead of collapsing into a sad existence or suicide, Greene harnessed this ugly experience into a historical study of human behavior called "The 48 Laws of Power."  He sometimes cried while he wrote it.  It was therapeutic for him - and for the rest of the world.  The book was cataclysmic.  It became a must read for any inhabitants of planet Earth.  Greene turned his discouraging experience in the film industry into a pamphlet on human behavior.  But Greene did not stop there, delving deeper with the Freudianly profound "The Art of Seduction," then, an analysis in Napoleonic thinking, "The 33 Strategies of War."  With rapper, entrepreneur 50 Cent, Greene co-wrote "The 50th Law," a pamphlet on conquering the paralyzing fear that rules most of our lives.  And now he drops "Mastery".  A road map to your own genius.

Days from its release, this book is Greene's crescendo, a punctuation of human life.  We spend so much of it confused, disappointed, and scared.  Greene says, there's no reason to fear anything or to envy anyone.  Your existence is your own unique thing, and you have the ability to transform your story into a great one...

NOTES ON ROBERT GREENE'S "MASTERY": PART TWO

Although I'm an optimistic person, when I observe human beings, I can't help but feel a sense of... jaundice.  Folks at coffee shops look like they just woke up.  Depressed looking executives on lunch breaks.  People check cell phones, even though there's clearly no new messages.  I have an older brother who still lives at home at 40 and refuses to pay rent or contribute in any way.  After finishing Robert Greene's "Mastery", I can't help but wonder how this opus will have a ripple effect on our world - and if it's too late.  Will people realize that the time they save not having to hunt for food can be utilized to maximize themselves?

It doesn't just come down to my brother, but people who "do" things in life.  I know many people that work, and then, to paraphrase "Fight Club", "buy shit they don't need".  I know people that hate their jobs and then go home and watch TV until they go to sleep - then go back to work.  Not judging this.  They just seem unsatisfied with this scenario.  "Mastery" makes it clear we are a world that mostly consumes.  We don't give back.  Much.  We are like a body that eats and rarely shits.  Generally, when a person can't shit anymore, that's bad.

What Robert Greene writes is nothing new.  People may even say, I already know all this stuff.  But that isn't Greene's gift.  He has become a master of organizing what we know and making it simple.  Digestible.  In "Mastery", he discusses how the brain is an instrument that connects things.  The older you get, the more experience you have, the more your brain connects.  If you love baseball, classical music and Thai food, your brain will find a way to connect all three of these things - and see their relation.  That bowl of pho tasted like Mozart's Requiem and felt like a home run, and so on.  That is what our future is depended on.  The ability to connect everything we know and not see them as separate, but as whole.

My hope is that - if this book has a positive impact in our world - it will help us "connect everything" and evolve us into the super beings we can be.  Take the energy people place on religion, for instance.  As a person who is not religious, it's very clear that religions are pretty identical.  The idea that people could be slaughtering each other for worshipping the same thing is tragic and laughable.  Can you imagine how far would we be if we could conquer something like that?  

NOTES ON ROBERT GREENE'S "MASTERY": PART ONE

Well, Robert Greene has done it again.  He has dropped another masterpiece on our doorsteps.  And in some ways, he has written his most personal book.  No, he does not tell us about his childhood or Freudian conflicts; "Mastery" is personal because Mr.Greene has held about 80 jobs, including as a construction worker, translator, magazine editor and screenwriter.  The turning point in his life came when he met book packager Joost Elffers and pitched him a book called "The 48 Laws of Power".  Mr.Greene is also a fan of the Lakers (in spite of their 0-3 start).  I illustrate this to point out that Robert Greene had to find his way to becoming the author "The 48 Laws of Power", one of the most influential books in modern times.  If a man has held 80 jobs, he probably was not sure exactly what he was going to do for the rest of his life.  And this book, "Mastery", is a tribute to a condition we have today in our society - the uncertainty of our calling.  Robert Greene was at one point in his own dark forest and we should all thank whatever God we worship, because, what better person to outline a path for you than this guy.

Every review will discuss how the book is broken down and what historical figures Greene dissects (Mozart, Einstein and Edison), and contemporary ones (Temple Grandin, one of my heroes).  I won't get into that, and besides, you will wander in the rich Robert Greene-eske pastures and see them for yourself.  What I will talk about is: the effect it has had on me.

I'm not someone who does not know what he wants to do.  I've been very clear about my "calling" since I was about 15.  And I have pursued it with blind intensity.  Although I have been told by enough people that I'm very good at what I do, I have reached a point in my life where I have considered the end of this chase, as I have not made a satisfying amount of money and it's not getting easier.  Therefore, recently, I have experienced the most relentless kind of discouragement and confusion about my life.  I mention this because Greene's books have a tendency to appear at the right time.  When I need it the most.  When I'm confused about something - power, seduction, war, fear - Greene writes a fucking book about it.  And Greene's latest opus has given me clarity.  The master has once again highlighted the "invisible forces" of society and given me targets to aim at.

The majority of people I know are smart people who don't know what they want to do with their lives.  This "uncertainty of calling" is like an epidemic in America - and likely, many countries where we have the luxury to have this feeling.  "Mastery" is the antidode to this sickness.  It will infuse you with purpose.  It will limit the amount of time you think about how you've wasted your time.

I'm still taking the book in, and I will scribble more notes down before the book comes out, hence the "part one"...

33 STRATEGIES OF SPORTS: GRAND STRATEGY

You wake up one day and decide you're going to take your goal seriously.  No more bullshit.  I'm going to do whatever it takes to succeed.  You recruit your team, call up friends, colleagues, making your bold announcement.  They're behind you.  You're going to kick ass.  You do the appropriate research on the internet.  But something happens.  This takes longer than you thought, since "researching the internet" unleashes a landmine of information -- articles about politics, healthy living, sports, entertainment, free porn, the death of a celebrity, etc.  Sometimes, you "research" for hours and realize you did not "research" anything.  Additionally, the phone calls you are engaged in are no longer about your project -- but the project of the person on the other end.  You are now helping your colleagues with their project.  Enough time goes by and you forget why you were so hyped up to begin with.  You have lost track of your goal and are no longer pursuing it.  You are now the cog in someone else’s goal.

You then begin the process all over again.  This is the majority of how things go in life.  How do you break this vicious cycle and reach your ultimate goal?  Sports, perhaps the last primal act in entertainment, can be your great teacher in vanquishing this terrible habit. Welcome back to "The 33 Strategies of Sports", a concoction of Robert Greene's "The 33 Strategies of War" and sports history.

THE GREAT CAMPAIGN

When Michael Jordan entered the NBA in 1984 as the third round pick of the Chicago Bulls, basketball was dominated by Magic Johnson and Larry Bird, who frequently met each other in Finals. Jordan attended North Carolina, where he won a NCAA Title, as well as the 1984 Olympics in Los Angeles, where he won the Gold Medal. Magic and Bird found the young man threatening. They were the Gods of the league and felt territorial.

Fortunately, the Bulls were a terrible club. Nightly attendance was pathetic. The franchise was inept and one player could not change that.   It would be a long time before this kid would rule anything. But within the first month, young Jordan made the front cover of Sports Illustrated with the headline: "A Star is Born". 

Fans started attending games in droves and cheered for this mystical talent with gravity defying abilities, the likes that had not been seen since Julius Irving.  The Bulls made the playoffs but were swept by the Milwakee Bucks.  Meanwhile, Larry Bird defeated Magic Johnson in the Finals that year in 7 Games.

In Jordan's second season, he suffered a foot injury that cost him the majority of the year.  A tremendous blow for the rising star. He would return in time to face Bird and the Celtics in the playoffs, and somehow steal the show by scoring 63 points in one game.  Afterwards Larry Bird called him, "God disguised as Michael Jordan". It didn't matter that the Bulls were swept 3-0, fans only remembered the 63 points and could not get Jordan out of their minds.  He was always in commercials and on the news.  It was difficult to go anywhere without hearing his name.

In 1987 and 1988, Jordan dominated the Slam Dunk Contest and earned the nickname, "Air Jordan". Soon, Jordan signed a deal with a shoe manufacturer called "Nike". Jordan mostly wore Adidas and Converse.  But Nike agreed to create Jordan his own brand after his nickname, "Air Jordans".  But, Jordan was not allowed to wear his "shoes" during games. Commissioner David Stern insisted the shoes did not follow the rules. Jordan wore them anyway, absorbing a $5,000 fine every night.  Eventually, Nike agreed to pay for the fines and the young man wore the shoes until the rule were changed -- exploding Jordan's popularity (and his shoes) exponentially.  While the Bulls remained an average team, "Air Jordans" became the most popular shoes in America.  

Meanwhile, his team continued to fail, but people only saw the "Air Jordan" symbol of him flying, recoiling a basketball like catapult, while taking off like a rocket.  During the 1987-88 season, Jordan won the MVP Award, even though his team was swept by the Pistons in the playoffs.

With Magic and Bird aging, it was time to actually win championships, as there was nothing left for Jordan to dominate. Privately, Jordan was befriending assistant Coach Phil Jackson, who introduced him to "The Triangle Offense", an unorthodox system that eliminated the need for a point guard (the player that usually dribbled up court and distributed the ball).  The triangle allowed a ball hog like Jordan to use his four teammates like extensions of himself, giving him 10 arms and 10 legs. Current coach Doug Collins was eventually fired and Phil Jackson took over the reigns and implemented this Jordan friendly system.

The Phil Jackson coached Bulls would win three consecutive titles, a feat unaccomplished since the Boston Celtics two decades earlier. Jordan now dominated the media globally, owning the world like no athlete ever had. His face was everywhere on the planet. His shoes worn by everyone, everywhere. He could do whatever he wanted. He rarely got called for fouls and received special treatment in every game, a sell out crowd no matter where he played. Fans would cheer for him against their own teams.  Jordan solidified his God-like image and now it was time to protect it.  This is why everyone in his circle was puzzled when he retired at the prime age of 29 and joined a minor league baseball team to pay tribute to his father - who was recently murderered in cold blood. 

But two years later Jordan rejoined the Bulls.  Many thought his time was over.  But Jordan came with astounding force, leading the Bulls to the greatest record in NBA history, 72-10.  Jordan would dominate his way to three more consecutive titles before his next retirement in 1999. Everyone, as the commercial said, wanted to "BE LIKE MIKE". Jordan even starred in the Warner Bros. movie "Space Jam" with Bugs Bunny. He retired for a second time with 6 championships at the age of 37.

On January 19, 2000, Jordan returned to the NBA not as a player, but as part owner and President of Basketball Operations for the Washington Wizards.  He was miserable at his job, choosing high schooler Kwame Brown as his number one pick.  People thought Jordan was running the team into the ground.  But his next move was even more puzzling.  To come out of retirement and play for the Wizards at age 39.  His own trainer, Tim Grover, did not think he could handle a brutal 82 game season at his age.  Still, the media labelled Jordan's return "The Third Coming".  His two seasons as a Wizard were mediocre, but the mere sight of Michael Jordan on a basketball court was thrilling.  Players from other teams always had Air Jordans they wanted Jordan to sign, before competing against the legend on the court.  Everywhere his “Airness” went, he was celebrated, ass kissed senselessly, like a two year goodbye tour.

After his tenure as a Wizard was over, Jordan was not given his President job back as promised.  Wizards ownder Abe Pollin thought of Jordan was a terrible GM.  But, it wasn't long before his “Airness” was given the keys to another team.  The Charlotte Bobcats.  He was awful at running this team as well.  When the Bobcats started bleeding money and had to be sold, Jordan bought the team.  Now, Jordan had his hands on an entire franchise, in North Carolina, where he grew up and went to college.  The legend would be seen at every game in the greatest position of power – a majority owner, the first former player to become one.

In 2011, the cover of the highly popular NBA 2K12 video game, which usually features a modern All Star like LeBron James or Kevin Durant, featured Michael Jordan, almost 10 years after he retired.  His God-like stamp in the world is secure and not leaving anytime soon.  As a celebrity Jordan continues to earn about S55 million a year.

INTERPRETATION

It's easy to say that Michael Jordan is who he is because of his incredible talent.  The truth is there have been others just as talented - such as Julius Irving - who did not enjoy the success this kind of titanic success.  Jordan made decisions that seemed God-like because they were, at first, perplexing, but over the course of years, revealed themselves to profoundly effective.

If you want to be Like Mike, this is the type of decisions you must make yourself.  Jordan wanted to become a basketball God. This wasn't about just winning titles. It was about building his iconic image.  His decisions didn't make much sense, but over the course of time, created precisely what he wanted. For instance, Jordan befriended filmmakers like Spike Lee to create commercials that would exhibit his God-like abilities.  As a Cultural Geography major (the study of cultural products and their relation to spaces), M.J. understood the media's importance.  Magic and Bird focused mostly on basketball. Before these guys knew it, their own fans cheered for Jordan.

Jordan's acceptance of a front office job for both the Wizards and Bobcats were seen as destructive to both teams.  M.J. refused to work anywhere but in Chicago, where he would fit his work between golfing.  He was rarely seen at Wizards or Bobcats home games as a GM.  When Bobcats owner Robert L.Johnson lost so much money from bad Jordan decisions, he had to sell the team - to Jordan, who wanted to own a franchise all along.

The GM positions also helped him sell Air Jordans.  M.J. himself regularly recruits young stars to represent his brand.  As a result, numerous players are still labelled "The next Michael Jordan".  This included Allan Iverson, Kobe Bryant, Grant Hill, Penny Hardaway, and Vince Carter and today Dwyane Wade and LeBron James are called “The Next Michael Jordan”.  This label is used oftenly and never at Jordan's behest.  It keeps his name in lights.

KEYS TO ENGAGEMENT

Seeing into the future is the most unnatural thing, since the future has not occurred yet.  Yet, this is how human being have separated themselves from animals, despite smaller size and strength.  It is their ability of foresight that has given them the advantage on planet Earth.  You cannot see into a crystal ball, but you can calculate how the future will turn out.  "Grand strategy" is the ultimate form of logic and many successful people generally have one thing in common.  They talk of seeing their plan in their minds before applying it - then watch it floorish.  Channel the Michael Jordan inside you by applying these four simple rules of "foresight".

1. FOCUS ON A DETAILED GOAL: You might think you have one, but "getting rich", "finding security", "finding a rich husband" is not a goal but a pipe dream.  Don't let you emotions infect you with hazy bullshit.  Have a detailed goal.  If you want to be writer, what kind of writer to you want to be?  Do you want to be a juggling clown or a birthday clown?  Be as specific as possible and contemplate the image in your mind every single moment. If you know what you want, you know when to lose a battle - like Jordan did when he paid $5,000 a night to wear his "Air Jordans" and made hundreds of millions as a result.

2. WIDEN YOUR PERSPECTIVE:  The clearest view of the future is by looking at things dispassionately.  Eliminating every cultural bias, prejudice and wishful thoughts about how you wish things to be.  Do this by seeing things through the eyes of someone else, especially an enemy.  Jordan applied this tactic every chance he got, most notably when he joined the 1992 Olympic Dream Team.  In his Hall of Fame interview, he talked about the rare chance he would get to learn how his opponents practiced, and "what made them tick".  The Dream Team consisted of Magic, John Stockton, Karl Malone, Patrick Ewing, Charles Barkley, some of whom became close friends with Jordan.   No one was sure why Jordan was so chummy with these guys, until the smoke cleared and Jordan had six titles.  Ewing, Barkley, Stockton, Malone had zero as they could never get passed Jordan - seeing his enemies point of view paved the way to his domination of them.

3.  SEVER THE ROOTS:  Jordan was the master of seeing the "roots" of problems as they sprouted.  He could tell that Doug Collins would not lead him to a title and befriended Phil Jackson. Though, his greatest move was his first retirement at the age 29.  His father had been bizarrely shot and killed, and it was rumored to have a connection to Jordan's compulsive gambling habits, which was becoming daily fodder in the news.  Jordan left the NBA for two years -- making the public crave his return so desperately,  the gambling allegations were a distant memory.

4. TAKE THE INDIRECT ROUTE:  Everyone in Jordan's camp considered his third return to the NBA foolish. As a 40 year old, he was only a shell of who he once was, and a decrepit Jordan would only hurt his image.  But the occasional display of basketball brilliance was enough to feed the masses and amplified his God-like image.  Jordan refused inclusion in the Hall of Fame for over 10 years because he wanted people to think he might come back.  Even when he was almost 50, people thought his “Airness” might make another come back.  That's the way he wanted it.  To be discussed as a peer of today's players – with the likes of LeBron James or Kobe - even though it was almost 10 years since M.J. competed on that level.  Like Mike, if you’re staring at your own future, making decisions that confuses others can be advantageous, as they won’t know what you are doing for years.  When they realize what you were doing, it will be too late because you will be too powerful.

REVERSAL

As Robert Greene warns, there are two warnings about Grand Strategy. 1) “Drunk of triumph, you may lose the sense of realism on which your future moves depend…. The greater the victory, the greater the danger”.  Bill Bellichick, one of the greatest Grand Strategists in sports, enjoyed a 19-0 season, leading the New England Patriots to Superbowl XLII as heavy favorites, only to suffer defeat to the inferior New York Giants.  Millions consider the Plaxico Burress touchdown  the game winner, however, but Bellichick actually lost the game earlier, in the second quarter, when he refused to kick a field goal from the 35 yard line, instead going for it on 4^th and 10.  He turned down 3 points and the Patriots eventually lost 17-14, by 3 point.  Lose a sense of realism, and risk a Bellichick-like devastation.

2)  Green also warns: “the detachment necessary for Grand Strategy may bring you to a point where you may find it hard to act.  Understanding the world too well, you see too many options” and suddenly, you cannot make any decisions.  After Bobby Fischer enjoyed what is considered the greatest Chess victory in modern history against Boris Spasky, he refused to play anyone else, forfeiting his championship, at the peak of his career and never competed again.  Danger of defeat was too frightening for Fischer.  Don’t fear defeat so much, you take yourself out of the equation.